07/11/03

Service of Witness:

"Testifying to the Goodness of God

through the life of Michael Nathaniel Attwood"

Summary by Karin Miller & Jill Attwood

The service was opened by Pastor Jim Olson of Bethel Christian Fellowship.  He set the tone for the evening by explaining the informality of the service.  There was no strict “order of ceremony”.  Rather, it was a time for friends and family to stand up and testify to what God did in their hearts through Michael’s life and death.  Pastor Jim then read from Isaiah 61:1-3 and 45:3. He exhorted all present that as we reflect on Michael’s life, this service would be both a time to embrace the suffering and grief of this moment, as well as a time to embrace and rejoice in the “crown of beauty” and the “treasures of darkness” that God was bestowing to us in the midst of this turn of circumstances.  He encouraged us that the hammer of our suffering can become the anvil of our hope.  

Then friends of the Attwoods shared a moving song by Twila Paris entitled “Visitor From Heaven” in both music and dance.  Many were touched by the lyrics. . . With aching hearts and empty arms, we send you with a name.  It hurts so much to let you go, but we’re so glad you came. . . accompanied by movements that so beautifully captured a Mother’s Heart . . .  a desperate grasp of the heart followed by open  arms  signifying letting Michael go to his Father’s arms, followed by a kiss blown toward Heaven.    Only a dance could have so fully painted the picture of what it feels like to let go of a loved one, knowing they’ve gone to be with Jesus.

After that, the microphone was open for anyone present to share their thoughts and how the life of Michael had impacted them.  Many commented on the amazing example of the strength of Jill and Graeme’s faith, and how powerful it was to witness them holding onto God throughout this difficult fight for Michael’s life.  Others shared how amazingly open Jill and Graeme are with their lives.  They truly left nothing hidden and welcomed so many people to chat by Jill’s bedside, sleep on their couch, dig in their closets, prepare meals in their kitchen, and even to hold the body of their little son Michael.  Jill herself even commented that this experience has truly shown them the difference between entertaining and hospitality, as well as the truth that God is good no matter what our circumstances look or feel like.  (To see a full version of Jill’s comments, click here...)

People from the Attwood’s church family expressed their strong belief that Michael’s life was a gift, not just to Jill and Graeme, but also to the entire body of Christ at Bethel.  Through Michael, we all were given a picture of what the Church was truly meant to be, and how much we can accomplish together when we rally around a family in need.  Many strongly felt that God brought the Attwood family to Bethel to teach us these lessons in preparation for doing this again in the near future, perhaps for different families in different circumstances, but all in need of the love of Jesus Christ expressed through the caring hands of His Church.  Everyone was so grateful to have had a chance to be a part of the Attwood’s life during this time, no matter how small or large the role. 

In the midst of these comments about the positive impact of Michael’s life, others shared honestly of their hurt, confusion, and even anger.  Many people had become attached to Michael in a special way and were convinced that he would make it.  Several who had previously experienced miscarriages themselves were putting all of their energy into seeing this one baby through.  Comments like these reminded us all that we were definitely still in the midst of the grieving process and the struggle to let go and reach acceptance.  When someone was having difficulty sharing, it was powerful to see how another person would rise to stand beside them, put a supportive hand on their shoulder, and quietly pray.  In the midst of this, one mother, who has known what it’s like to lose her own children, rose up through tears to declare the truth of Romans 8:28-39:  “...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The pain of suffering and the comfort of Heaven were the subjects of another moving song played at the service.  Graeme chose "Song for Natalia" by Kevin Prosch which contained the following lyrics:  Well I saw her bending low, down by the water, carrying burdens that no man could ever bear.  She said, "I just lost a part of me.  I lost my child."  The song goes on to describe this mother's search for "peace in the struggle", followed by the comfort in knowing her child had found his peace in the struggle in Heaven where there's no more suffering and no more pain.

Pastor Harrison and his wife, Alaere (native Liberians) have been spiritual anchors for the Attwoods.  Their own experience with the loss of seven children allowed them to come alongside the Graeme and Jill in a way few could understand.  Pastor Harrison shared encouragement from Ephesians 2 which speaks of Jesus being our peace.  He noticed that Jill reached a new understanding of this when she said, “It doesn’t matter which way it goes – I have peace.”  This peace only comes when we can truly yield to God and say, “Not my will, but Your will be done.”  Pastor Harrison also talked about the unity he noticed among the Bethel friends in the delivery room as well as in the whole church during Michael’s life and death.  Jesus is the cornerstone of this unity, and our common point is Jesus on the cross.  The great paradox is this:  There is no death without life, and there is no life without death.  Eternal life begins at death, and Michael entered straight into eternal life.

By the time the sharing drew towards a close, there was a rising conviction in all of our hearts that the life of Michael, and everyone’s efforts in sustaining his life, was not in vain.  God accomplished so many things in so many lives in such a short time through this little fighter of a man.  “The Kingdom of God is advancing forcefully, and forceful men lay hold of it.”  Matthew 11:12.

Graeme shared powerful words along these lines about his son.  He said that he has tremendous admiration for him, to have watched how Michael had to fight for his very life; fight for the chance to stay alive, until he knew the purposes God had for his life had been accomplished.  Graeme said that although it is usually the father who leaves a legacy for his son, he felt that it was the opposite in this case.  Michael is the one who left a legacy for his father, his family, and for us all, as to how we are to live, fighting to see the kingdom of God advanced and God’s purposes fully accomplished in our lives.

Pastor Jim closed the service with prayer and two worship songs:  You Are Good and His Love Endures Forever.  Graeme and Jill were tremendously blessed by the over 100 loved ones who attended Michael’s service.  Pastor Jim encouraged those in attendance to continue in love, support and authentic community, not only for the Attwoods, but also for each other in the coming weeks, months, and even years.